now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
