I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
