I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
