His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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