I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
