hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm like, not good at living.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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