I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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