Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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