Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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