Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
