things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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