it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
