The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
