He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
