I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
