Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
What should our trivia night team be named?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck