just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar