just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...