mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
