i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.