i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one