i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
