i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
