Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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