I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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