I can tuck mytits in my pants
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
even my farts smell like vagina
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
