my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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