We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
True strength comes from lack of pants
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
