Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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