Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
When did we convert life to cartoon?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
