Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize