Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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