just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
