Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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