If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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