Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
