I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
