David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
