so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
