I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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