i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
