What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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