Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
