I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
