I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
