Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
