I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
