The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
