your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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