haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
fuck your aforementioned shoe
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
