Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
