he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
