I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
