please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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