WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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