She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
