Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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