Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I am available for nakedness
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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