Do you still have your period?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
