Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize