I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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