I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
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Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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