You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
