If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
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You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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