Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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