Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
